Are Ancestors important for Life Coaching?

Judging by the number of ancestor-related websites being promoted lately, there appears to be a growing interest in checking out your family roots. Ancestry.com is the 149th most popular site in America (according to Alexa) and averages over 700 hits a day, mostly by older researchers.

But what does familiarity with your ancestors have do do with life coaching or counseling? A lot, it appears.

Many spiritual practices and religions – particularly in native cultures and the orient – revolve around both the acceptance and, in many cases, the worship of ancestors. Even in western cultures there is an increased tendency to include ancestor and archetypal relationship methods into various therapies and self-help programs.

The exploration and eventual acceptance of your family and ancestors is important for emotional and spiritual grounding. Depending on your memories and/or your family history, your ancestors can be a gateway to bliss . . . or a reminder of failure and limitation. Either way, and whether you like it or not, however, these folks are still your family.

It took me a long time to see why my ancestors were important. I carried some painful memories, never had a strong bond with my family, and didn’t even understand what all of it meant. I knew my parents, and I knew my grandparents and my aunt on my father’s side, but the rest of my family was a blur . . . a litany of names and distorted faces I never really knew. Even now, if you ask me about their hopes and dreams or what kind of music they liked, I’m not really able to tell you.

So, when I first came across the idea of connecting with my ancestors, forgiving close family members, or finding strength and support in my family tree, I figured it just didn’t relate to me. I had only a vague understanding of family bonds and didn’t understand why it mattered so much. In fact, I was convinced that it didn’t matter . . . that I would just take care of myself.

It wasn’t until adulthood that I began to understand what the coaches, therapists, and spiritual counselors were talking about. I was forced to leave my home and became a Nomad . . . wandering from place to place and not really getting attached to any of it. When so many families of friends took me in and showered me with more love and acceptance than I could ever remember, I was amazed. They even encouraged me to ask for their help, and offered what they had freely without conditions. I didn’t know how to begin to respond to this kind of family, but felt immensely grateful.

Years later, I discovered The Logical Soul® and Dr. Michael Craig. He was able to guide me into the realm of the hidden, inner decisions in my subconscious that distorted the memories of my father, mother and ancestors. I even learned how these memories continued to affect how I related to the people, places and events I encounter every day.

When you think about it, current perceptions based on distorted memories make perfect sense. Psychologists call this “projection” . . . a way to blame the outside world for our own discomfort. And this projection can be handed down from generation to generation!

On a biological level I am my ancestors. I have their DNA, their predispositions for certain illnesses, and so on. Likewise on a spiritual level, I have their “stuff” – their stories, memories, emotions, energy, and even behavioral tendencies. I am their continuation . . . and also their current expression in the physical world.

“Look into a plum tree. In each plum on the tree there is a pit. That pit contains the plum tree and all previous generations of plum tree. The plum pit contains an eternity of plum trees. Inside the pit is an intelligence and wisdom that knows how to become a plum tree, how to produce branches, leaves, flowers and plums. It cannot do this on its own. It can only do this because it has received the experience and heritage of so many generations of ancestors.”

Excerpt from No Death, No Fear by Thich Nhat Hanh

You and your ancestors are one and the same. You possess the wisdom and intelligence of how to become a full human begin because you inherited an eternity of wisdom, not only from your blood ancestors but also from the wholeness of life itself!

Even if you do not believe in the spiritual aspect of ancestry, you have probably witnessed the handing down of traditions, upbringing, and temperament from parent to child within your family tree. Some of these things are wonderfully empowering, wise, and nourishing. Some of these things are also painful, ignorant, and destructive.

Simply by accepting the power of family and ancestors, you can break the harmful cycles that have been handed down. You can begin to heal old wounds and free yourself from behaviors and emotions that no longer serve you. You can even discover the most liberating emotion of all – forgiveness.”

Developing a strong relationship with your ancestors is profoundly important. It is second only to your relationship with yourself. For yourself and your clients, learn to use a method like The Logical Soul® to get some insights and develop these ancestral relationships.

Learn to discover – then forgive – your parents and all others for whom you’ve held grudges since childhood . . . even for something that appears trivial as an adult, i.e., “One time they scolded me when I ate some cookie dough.” Just do it. Anything that allows you to be free from the past and form a healthy bond with those who you call family is truly a gift.

So how has your relationship with your family and/or ancestors affected your own or your coaching experience? Let us know your story in the comments!

Want to be a better life coach? Take a look at Dr. Craig’s invaluable (and free!) report for coaches: Secret to Success for Life Coaches.